Words of Wisdom for My Sixteen Year Old Self

Firstly, yes, I'm back! I almost forgot I had this account. Gah!

I guess thanks to my friend Mon for kind of reminding me of the existence of this site. Anyway...

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It was just a normal day. Well, not so normal given I actually had one of those rare urges to clean the hodgepodge of things in my drawer. I was culling through the clutter when I saw....could it be? But of course! Red strip on top denoting year level? Check. Green text scrawled all over? Check. A 2x2 ID photo of myself pre-orthodontia and with my de rigeur I-stuck-my-finger-in-an-electric-socket hair? Check. Yup, it can only be my junior year high school ID card. Wow! Six years after I absentmindedly dumped it in my drawer after the end of the school year, I am now faced again with my kooky sixteen year old self...and her equally nuts twenty-two year old self wants to tell her things.



So, high school junior Allie --- oh sorry! Toni! I almost forgot that it was in university when you stopped using your first name in public. --- listen up. Your older, wiser, but still crazy future self wants to impart a few things she's learnt in the six year gap between you and her. Take down notes, okay (Do I even need to ask you that, though? You always do!).



1. You know how you don't care what people think of you as long as you're happy? Good on you! Continue that.



If there's anyone that's normal...that isn't you. But then again, I know that's a compliment for you. To you, different is just a synonym for special (Besides, your trusty, battered Roget's Thesaurus says so! Haha!). So what if not every classmate of yours sucks up words as much as you do? So what if they don't find the thrill of creating stories all that, well, thrilling? It's what makes you happy, and if you have to be alone in that world, so be it.



Guess what? Eventually, your never betraying your passions will pay off tremendously. You will end up being rewarded for things that, to be honest, don't feel like work to you because you enjoy them. In fact, guess what? You will end up gaining friends --- real friends --- because of it. They will end up admiring you for doing things passionately and just being you.



Keep it up.



2. Wearing lip gloss does not connote automatically to being an air head.



The same goes for putting on powder. And actually going to the washroom to brush your hair.



(Surprise, surprise for those who've known me recently. Yes, once I hated make-up!)



Sixteen year old Toni, I have a little confession to make. Now, please promise me that you won't sucker punch your older self, okay?



I betrayed you. I like lipstick. In fact, I have an entire canister devoted to just lip product. I also have two cases of make-up other than said can. Not just that, but I have --- not one, not two, not three --- seven boxes of accessories. Oh, and yes, my hairbrush is right next to me as I'm typing this.



And I'm not sorry.



You may slap me now. But wait. Before you do, let me ask you something. Just why are you angry at your future self for something even your mum does?



So now, you're quiet.



Look, I know why you refuse to preen yourself. Being Little Miss Literature Geek is about the only thing you've known as your identity throughout high school. Naturally, you thought you had to look the part. Any deviation --- whether glossy lips, tinted cheeks or, shudder, non-disheveled hair --- would mean losing your identity.



But look! I still know that Shakespeare was born near Avon; it's not just a make-up brand to me. I still know that Anna Karenina is a Leo Tolstoy novel, not a Russian designer. And yes, I still want to see Paris for the history and culture in it as much as the window shopping.



Physical beauty and brains can coexist in a person. When you try something new, you don't strip away your identity. You add to it.



Oh, and yeah, you'll start bringing Body Shop Satsuma lip gloss to school come senior year. Trust me.



3. Don't hate every single boy in the world except your father just because the ones in school treat you badly.



Remember that promise you made to yourself never to marry? Bull! Your twenty-two year old self does envision her future self in that lovely harbourside penthouse flat at thirty-three (just like you have)...waking up next to the man she'd promised to spend a lifetime cherishing.



You're shuddering, I know. You're surrounded by guys who've called you every possible mean name on the planet. How could you like boys after they've made you cry in class innumerable times?



Well, honey, it gets better. Men are not all like that. Hello! You were raised by one such exception to the "Boys are stupid" rule you've concocted back in sophomore year. Surely, there are others like your Dad too (Spoiler: You become friends with plenty of them.).



Oh, I know you have a romantic side (Those fairy tales you made for Sir Kiko Vega's English class a year ago? That's proof.). Don't give up on that. Ever.



4. Enjoy high school whilst it lasts.

Trust me, you will miss it. Sure, there's the bullying, total PE fails (including about 45 instances of a volleyball hitting your sweaty self, thrice in the face), overpriced cafeteria food, itchy uniform, and whatnot. But it is also here you learnt that you can write and revived the love for language. It is here you became aware of the world not revolving around you. It is here you've met and deepened friendships with some of the most amazing people on the planet (Heya, Cid, Christia, Camille, Hannah, and Lui!)



And yes, you'll end up losing your alumni card....and itching to go back to Seton just to renew it.

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I'm now a very happy 22, blessed to live my life yet still excited for the surprises along the way. I look back to my high school junior self, and think "I've come a long way from her, yet I am still her." That's how it's supposed to be, I guess.



Why do I get the feeling 28 year old Alexis will be writing to my self now?