Pambihira!

Oh, I see you there. You’re bravely trying to stifle a giggle. The muscles near your mouth are now twitching from the force you demand of them trying to silence a huge guffaw threatening to escape. Well, guys, it’s no use. I already know that you find it funny. So, go ahead. You may burst out laughing now.

Oh, and if you’re chuckling right now at the title of this entry, I know now that you’re Filipino.

For those of you who have no idea what this all means, pambihira is actually an expression of annoyance in the Filipino language. This is usually uttered with rolling eyes and, at times, a head scratch or a bang on some table. Great ways to use this little word are after queuing for an hour and finding the clerk on lunch break, that car on the road splashing flood water all over your pristine, white shirt, and finding out your group mate in some project didn’t do his share…again. It’s a pretty common word so you wouldn’t really be hard pressed to find this little linguistic token.

But, well, in linguistics, meaning is derived in two forms: denotation (dictionary meaning) and connotation (its use in a particular statement or situation). As a word, we’ve only discussed the connotation of pambihira. Actually, if you look up that word in a Filipino dictionary, you’d find its definition not to be of irritation or frustration. Its denotation has nothing to do with it at all. Pambihira is actually the Tagalog word for “rare’, as in “Bawat limampung taon lamang lumalabas itong pambihirang bulalakaw.” (This rare comet only appears every fifty years.).

I really have no idea how “rare’ became “Ugh!”. My wannabe linguist brain churns out the theory that perhaps it’s because annoyed people want whatever stupidity that’s currently irritating them to be a rare instance. Perhaps, it’s the secret faith in humanity everyone has that most people are intelligent and wise and that foolishness is rare. Or maybe, it’s the opposite. Maybe it’s a little sigh that how come brains are rare. However it was derived, I kind of like this little colouring of the Filipino language amongst many.

Hey, here’s a great example of that dichotomy.

Two thousand years ago, the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth decided to step down from His throne of majesty and live as a human being. He decided to give up His unlimited power for that time and become, well, bounded as a person. Not just that, but He was pretty much arrested, tried and nailed on a cross for a crime He didn’t commit. Yes, He knew it would happen, but oh wait. He did so willingly. And for what? Well, He did all of that for a bunch of imperfect, ungrateful sinners who probably wouldn’t even willingly recognise Him.

Now, if you were His friend, would you yell “Pambihira ka naman o!”? Yeah, probably you would. And yes, many of His friends did. They thought what was happening to their dear friend was very unfair. What made it worse, though, is that He was willing to do it. Now, if that’s not worthy of a scream of “Pambihira!”, I don’t know what is.

Yet, He did it. Why? It’s pretty simple really. His love for all of those unworthy people was (and still is) pambihira --- rare. In fact, I think only He can ever give a love that powerful, that passionate. I think only He could ever give up everything He had, including his life, in order to give those He loves ---everyone --- something better.

I’d be worthy of a yell of pambihira if I don’t say thank You.

Before I Nag:Part 3

Ma cherie Danielle,

Once again, it’s me, your mother’s 22 year old self.

How have you been, my darling? Are you enjoying Mummy’s letters to you? I do hope all is well with you, my dear.

Well, in a way, I promised you I’d talk about this topic eventually in one of these little notes to you. In this letter, I’d try to do just that.

Again, I keep wondering how you’d look like now, a young woman about to blossom into who she wants to be. I wonder if you’d take after me. I wonder if you have my almond shaped, deeply-set blue-brown eyes. I wonder if your hair will flow too in thick, sable waves. I wonder if your tall, lithe body will be wrapped in coffee-coloured skin. Or, will you take after Daddy (whoever he is!)? Either way, however you’d look, there’s one thing Mum is sure of. No matter what, you are utterly lovely, my Danielle.

I know. I know. I’m your Mum. I’m required by familial ties to say that. But you know what, even without them and despite my not seeing you grow into a woman for another thirty or so year, I would still say right now, Ms. Danielle Beatrix (Insert our last name here), that you are gorgeous.

You may not believe me. I understand. I should do so, after all, there was a point in my life I thought I looked like a freak. You may not know this, but yes, your mother did once believe she was, well, utterly gross.

When I was seven years old, I imagined my twenty year old self to be, well, Keira Knightley. Of course, I didn’t know the actress then (She’d get her fame when I’m already in high school). I did however, basically covet her features --- those sparkling hazel eyes, the lovely champagne gold hair, the milky white complexion. Of course, we now know that those features are far from what I have, and little by little, it became apparent. For that, I was quite angry at myself. It didn’t help that your aunt, my older sister had exactly the mestiza features I so badly longed for. It wasn’t her fault, of course, for looking the way that she is. However, seeing her in the covers of those magazines, admittedly, made me feel like my dusky looks are not worthy of admiration.

Then, high school came with its screaming taunts. I can not count the many different names I’ve been called for, well, as mentioned in my first letter, caring more about my books than the boys. One thing’s for certain about those harsh words hurled at me: they thought I was ugly. What’s worse is I believed them once (though, it never looked like it to my friends. After all, an actress should know how to fake emotion.)

And then, one summer, I went to Australia. There, for some reason that was strange to me then, everyone stared at me. And no, unlike in my high school, it wasn’t because my hair was blocking their view of the blackboard. They were actually smiling at me. A bunch of girls came up to me to ask where I got my sun-kissed tan (to which, all I could reply was that it’s natural.). A make-up saleslady at David Jones told me she wished I could stay put for the day because my eyes seemed like the perfect canvas for the eyeshadow she was testing. There was even a man who tried to ask for my phone number at a Brisbane grocery store. In their eyes, I was gorgeous. The girl who was compared to Shiva, the destroyer (after a rowdy Asian history class) is apparently a goddess in the eyes of these Australians.

This is when I realized that beauty can come in all shapes, colours and sizes. It isn’t limited to simply that creamy skinned, flaxen-locked girl in a magazine. In fact, every single woman on this planet is lovely simply because they are, they exist, they were created with meticulous care by Him. Beauty is not just limited to the physical too. It actually radiates from the inside-out.

I guess all I’m trying to tell you, my dear, is that no matter what the world says, you are lovely. You are lovely because it’s in your human nature to be. You are lovely because of the beautiful treasures you hold inside you. You are lovely because you are, my Danielle.

And you know what? I’ll always adore you, my beautiful daughter.


With love,
Mum

Ang Mamatay Nang Dahil Sa'Yo

(In English, that would be “to die for you”)

If you’re a Filipino or have lived in these jeweled isles for quite some time now, you’d know that that is the last line of the national anthem. Yes, it’s part of that bit where your throat feels so exasperated from having to sustain all those high parts. Yes, that’s the part of the song where your lualhati starts to sound like an asthma wheeze. If not used to singing the anthem, your throat just wants to go “Make it stop! Make it stop!”


To die for you. This is what a lot of our heroes did --- die for the nation, that is. Their blood was spilt as ransom for this nation’s freedom. It was a supreme sacrifice that had them leaving whatever comfort zones they had --- whether the universities of Europe or the streets of Tondo --- to give the next generation a taste of the liberty they so felt their land deserved. They gave their lives in pursuit of freedom for the Philippines. I guess this is why that line, “Ang mamatay nang dahil sa’yo.” Is in our nation’s anthem, but is it really fair to ask this of every Filipino in this day and age?

What about our families and friends? I don’t think even the most understanding of loved ones would accept without difficulty that you sacrificed your life just to free your land. Sure, it sounds noble. Sure, people would admire you for it. But, my goodness, that sounds just impractical, radical, crazy even.

Many times, what’s right is what’s more difficult to do. Admit it. It is easier to beat that red light than to wait for minutes for the next green signal. It’s a lot less tedious to skip your suffrage responsibility altogether since, anyway, there is no assurance the polls aren’t rigged. It will make you a richer person not paying appropriate taxes and keeping your records to yourself. It’s oftentimes a sacrifice to fulfill your duties as a citizen of this country.

But, I think this is exactly what that line in our national anthem wants us to do, to do what we can for this country even if it’s harder, to put your love for others before yourself. To borrow from Christian ideology, we must “die a little to ourselves” everyday so others may live. Yes, it may hurt for a while, but seeing the nation gradually progress will make it all worth it. After all that, then, all that pain will be for a cause.

Yes, even your scratchy throat from the high note.

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Maging Sino Ka Man

Yes, blame my love for classic music. Add that to my recent curiosity over 60's-80's Tagalog (and Bisaya) ballads , and you've gotten yours truly to post this video!

This song is called "Maging Sino Ka Man" (Tagalog for "Whoever You May Be") by a famous Filipino romantic composer named Rey Valera. He apparently composed this inspired by those who work odd jobs in multi-faceted Manila or those who feel they are in a degrading line of work (Unfortunately, job prejudice is pretty apparent here.). For those curious about the lyrics, here they are in the original Tagalog (with English translations below in italics):

Ang pag-ibig ay sadyang ganyan
Love is really like that
Tiwala sa isa't-isa'y kailangan
Trust in each other is needed
Dati mong pag-ibig wala akong pakialam
Whoever you loved before, I don't really mind
Basta't mahal kita kailanpaman
I'll simply love you forever

'Wag kang mag-isip ng ano pa man
Don't you ever worry about anything
Mga paliwanag mo'y di na kailangan
Whatever explanations, I don't need it
At kahit ano pa ang iyong nakaraan
And no matter what your past wasb
Mamahalin kita maging sino ka man
I love you no matter who you are


Mahal kita, pagka't mahal kita
I love you because I love you
Iniisip nila ay hindi mahalaga
Whatever they think, it doesn't matter
Mahal kita maging sino ka man
I love you no matter who you are

Mali man ang ikaw ay ibigin ko
Loving you may be wrong
Ako'y isang bulag na umiibig sa 'yo
But I'm just a blind man in love with you
At kahit ano pa ang iyong nakaraan
And no matter what your past is
Mamahalin kita maging sino ka man
I love you no matter who you are

Nice, aye! I love how it basically shows one facet of love --- unconditionality. I love how the persona doesn't really care what his beloved's past is or who she is or whatever. All that matters to her is that he loves her. Period. And he'll continue to love her. Period.

What was that? Yes, it's a lovely, poignant song full of the magic of love, but you're hard pressed to find anyone who still loves the same way as the persona here? Times have changed, and love is now more defined in finite, fleeting terms? Perhaps.

What if I told you, though, I know Someone personally who loves that way?

Two thousand years ago, one great big expression of the words "I love you" happened on a cross in Calvary. But, if you think He did it for someone who was fully deserving of the love, think again. First of all, she didn't love Him (at least, not at the time). She was too busy to ever think of Him. And second of all, would someone so flawed, so full of mire, so imperfect ever be called worthy of such pure and perfect love He was offering? No, I don't think so.

And yet, He did it. And yes, He loved her. He loved her despite the fact that she was too loud and hyperactive. He loved her despite the fact that she was such a huge drama queen who has slight tendencies to exaggerate things. He loved her despite the fact that she has a passport with the Procrastination Nation stamped all over it.

He loved her (and still does) no matter who she is. And she is, or should I say I am, grateful for that!

Of Otap and Obsession

Yes, that'd be the seventh part of my "Allie's 22 Things I Learnt Before 22" (which, I'm afraid will probably not reach 1 February. Oh well, there's the "Now That I'm 22" plan!). This one discusses my sort of explanation on my cultural obsession. Yes, it's rather incoherent! Hahaha!

Watch Me!

Not really a blog per se, but I just had to share this!

It's called "Stranger in Her Own City", a short film by Khadija Al-Salami. It tells the story of a young Yemeni girl who refuses to conform to her society's rigid ideas of what a woman is supposed to be.

I seriously must commend Najmia for showing exceptional courage despite her young age! Seriously, many adults don't have the courage she as an adolescent possesses. She really must be applauded!